In the 5 years I have been working as a fitness professional, I have had some of the worst mishaps ever. At the time, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole but now I look back on these events, laughing at my misfortune. I am sharing these with you so that you can learn from where I have made some bad judgement calls or not been prepared for the unexpected. Keep reading if you need a good laugh but most importantly, now that you have been informed, learn from my mistakes. #KnowledgeIsPower
1. Do the squat test in the mirror. I love funky patterns and colors in my workout capris. 2 years ago I bought the cutest pair of tangerine fitness capris to match a pair of shoes I had. Little did I know that they were see through when stretched in certain positions (squats, plie, roundhouse kicks, etc). How did I find it out? My front row was kind enough to tell me they saw my girlie parts halfway through class. The worst part? I didn’t have any nonpatterned bloomies, so that day I had went commando. #SMH – Needless to say? They did circuits the rest of class.
2. Listen to your music beforehand. It’s been a big joke amongst my clients for years that I am obsessed with birthday cake. I love cake. Any kind. I’ll eat it. So when Rhianna’s song Birthday Cake was released, I was so excited to have a song about cake! I downloaded it without listening to it. Halfway through the song, my girls are dying laughing at me as they realized I hadn’t figured out what she was referring to. The worst part? I was teaching that class in a school. I flipped past that song faster than you can say “birthday cake”.
3. Dont chew gum while you teach. I love to hug my clients when they walk in and I make it a point to speak to them often, so you can imagine I don’t want to have skanky breath right? However, I have learned to chew gum before class then spit it out before I start teaching. The reason? I got so severely choked during kickboxing one night I almost threw up on the gym floor. While that was horrifc, the worst was the time it flew out of my mouth and landed on the shoe of one of my front row girls. Thank God she is one of my best friends and just laughed at me. Lesson learned: no gum.
4. Carry tampons with you no matter what time of the month it is. This should be self explanatory. You can’t always know when Aunt Flow will visit, sometimes she makes surprise house calls.
5. Dont wear front zipper sports bras. We all know that getting a sweaty, wet sports bra off after workout out is kinda like performing a Houdini act. It is virtually impossible and makes us say ugly words while being stuck with our arms in painful positions. One day I thought the solution would be to buy a front zipper sports bra. Wrong. Those little boogers like to come unzipped sometimes and will spill your goodies all over the place. Fixing that with some dignity is impossible. Just cover yo’self and go to the bathroom.
6. Be aware of your intestines. Let’s be real: we all get gas. The important thing is to realize what is going on in your belly before you drop down into a deep squat. It happens all the time, guaranteed that half of your class has let a tootie before BUT when the instructor does it loudly- it’s never good. All you can do is laugh it off and move along. The best advice? Be aware. If you are feeling a little gassy, do bicep curls instead 😉
I hope you had a good laugh at my incidents and you learned a few “what not do’s” from me! Smile my friends, life is too short to be a sour puss.
Big hugs n luv,